the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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