im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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