are you still at the devil's house?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
