Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
