Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
