It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
