I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
