when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I hate all girls vehemently.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
