You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
