Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
