Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
