Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
nutella sex= disaster
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
