Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
