I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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