Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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