I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize