You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
