Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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