"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
