There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
