I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
