Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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