you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We're too hungover to prance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
