So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
