I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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