I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
thus making me awesome and them whores
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
