the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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