I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize