Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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