True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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