I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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