Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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