Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
