She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
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i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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