The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
