Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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