another moral hangover. fuck.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
