What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just invented taco cereal.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
