try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
