i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
