Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
