If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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