My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
