she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
