Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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