i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
