I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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