her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My ass is underappreciated
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
