I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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