Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
