i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
