Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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