Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
