I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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