It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
