Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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