How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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