she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
