Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
