no, he came in my armpit
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
