My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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