She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
