I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
