She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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