I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
