I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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